SO many thoughts have been running through my head these days. I have so much going on that it really is hard to keep up with the daily measures of life. So I first want to state that this blog is probably not going to be a happy one. I am sorry. I am putting a censor on right now. Because the next couple of paragraphs I know aren't the most happy of them.
Yesterday I was getting ready to go horseback riding. Now, I am far from a prompt person. I used to be but due to a busy schedule and just pure laziness, I have slowly started to allow myself to become a tardy person. But if you are late, I get kinda annoyed. Pretty hypocritical I know but lemme explain why this time (which I actually didnt get annoyed) it was a good but really sad thing that my friend was late for us to go! It was roughly about 10 til 5 when my friend finally got to my house. I shut down the internet and we were off driving down 303 to our destination. We're yacking about what happened over the weekend and I see this truck ahead of me slowing down... me... not knowing what was going or why he was slowing down became somewhat annoyed at this fact. Pulling closer I saw why. Car accident. OMG! It was horrible. We had probably just arrived at the scene shortly after it happened because people were running to the vehicles, debri was everywhere, and there was no emergency vehicles left! OMG! Oh it gets worse. So I see people on their cell phones calling 9-1-1 and then the emergency vehicles get there. it was a 2 car accident and unfortunately one of the people died. I didnt know at the time how badly the injuries were but I knew from the site that it was pretty bad. So of course it is on my mind the entire time I am experiencing my first time on a horse (pictures will be posted when I get them). I get back into town and I find all this stuff out and it's on my mind for the rest of the time being. It was so sad and is in the Chronicle today. I just kept thinking about the parents and their little friends and just everything.
For some unknown connection, it reminded me of Kristal. She did not die from a car accident but she was a teenager (who I used to work with and be close to) who passed away 2 years on Oct 27th. This is always a hard time for me and the girls that I work with because Ill get one of them go "So I was thinking about Kristal today...." and my usual response is "yea me too". Kristal was 16 who died about a week after having her tonsils (sp?) removed and she had some complications with the medications or something. Its kinda hard for me to explain. I go to her grave about 3 times a year (its about 15- 20 minutes away from my house) and I can still hear her voice in my head. I wrote a blog about it when the events happened on my myspace and just read it the other day (my coworker was super upset, they were best friends, and I could not remember what day it was that she had passed because the grave marker has the wrong date. OMG to this day, it still pisses me off). I still have some pictures that I had saved or that were given and I still have her obit and the thank you card for coming to the funeral. I try not to think about it a whole lot because every time I do, it upsets me. I know it contradicts the I think about her statement above because I do think about it but I really try not to. This blog was going to eventually come because she has been on my mind for the past couple of days; just after that accident, she popped up into my head.
At work, I am self proclaimed, and the girls agree, that I am momma kate. When they are sick or sad, I am doing my best to make them feel better or baby them in some way. I try to make sure that I know whats going on with them and try to keep them happy. It's not that easy lol. But anyways, a few days before Kristal's passing, her and a friend came in and just hanging out, like we all do. Her face was all swollen and her friend was talking to my coworker and I was talking to her. I remember her telling me she was hungry or thirsty or something and I gave her an ice cube. lol. That should satisfy it right lol. I dunno. Like I said, I think of her name and her voice pops into my head. I think of little silly conversations that we had or how she thought I was out of my mind... like the rest of them do. I remember how she would complain to me about her boyfriend or tell me about the latest experience/ mischief she got in lol. Ill never forget looking at her though at the funeral home and wishing I wouldnt of gone. The image was burned into my head. I knew it at that moment it was going to happen though. I also remember seeing the most peculiar thing when I got back (I had to work that evening) to work (which wasnt horrible bc it kept my mind off of it, but I wasnt functioning well) which was in the main sink a grouping of bubbles (sounds so funny) in the shape of a heart. I took a pic on my camera phone and I tried to find the pic on my pc and it isnt on here, but its on another site. So I dont know if it was her or just a coincidence but I like to think it was her. Well now that I am tearing up, time to switch topics. Actually, I gotta go!
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