So as I am sitting in a chair... pretty much pissed off at other things, I remember tomorrow is October 27th. I dread tomorrow. I dread it every year. So I am sitting there, mad... and now completely upset because of the anniversary and tears are starting to stream down my face. I jump on the computer to make sure no one sees me getting upset because how do I explain to my mom "yeah I am pretty upset about a whole lot of stuff and I definately dont want to talk about it." Yeah thats not going to fly.
I know whats going to happen tomorrow. A matter of fact I can describe perfectly how the next 24 hours of my life is going to go. I am going to get a call or a text tonight from a friend or two telling me that they are upset and they cannot stop thinking about it. That's fine. Trust me I understand how they are feeling. I wouldnt be sitting at the computer with tears rolling down my face if I didnt. So I am going to comfort them and then help them get through the night. My coworker today brought her up. Very randomly. I know its on all their minds. It's been on mine all month. So I am going to go to bed and tomorrow I will be texting some of the girls just to tell them that I love them because they are going to be upset. They'll thank me and tell me they love me too. I may get a D*** text saying "remember Kristal. it's been 2 years." or some crap to pretty much bring tears to my eyes again like last year. Really? I understand it but the girls dont need that. I dont need it. My poor friend Amanda is terrified to even open up her phone tomorrow because she doesnt want to get it again. I told her give her phone to her mom. So I'll go to work. Pray to God none of them say anything to me about it, but I dont suspect they will. Then come home, study for a test. Do some phone calls and texting. Check on the girls. Take my test and prob go for a walk. After all that.... I am going to need one!
I worry so much about people. Tomorrow is definately going to be handful for me. I am still going to go through my daily routines of stuff. I have already visited, last monday, so at least I dont have to deal with the pain in that. Dinner's ready. I'll be okay. I always will. I am just definately in a slump
Help With Cora's Playground
Uber Amazing Blog Award
Thank You So Much Jennifer from Crooked Needle Primitives. It means a lot!
Childhood moment
Dang I was cute as a kid
Me and My Best Friend Sara
1 comment:
Katie, I am so sorry for tomorrow for you! I know what emotions you are going thru, but on a different level and for another person (Faith). I feel for you. You are my best and I dont like hearing you so upset. You have been so good to me. You have been my shoulder to lean on and cry on, even though you havent physically been here. You know I am here for you too. If it will make you feel better, you are more than welcome to come over tomorrow night and just sit. just cry. just what ever you want.
So many things I want to say. But from being in that situation, I know that pretty much nothing being said, just being supportive is the best. thats what I am doing. Dont think for a second taht you will be burdening or bothering me with this due to what I am going thru. its the opposite. it will make me take my mind off of things for a bit....... im rambling. I will talk to you tomorrow.
just stay strong. i love you! =]
Post a Comment