Throwing in the towel

I am throwing in the towel on a few things. I am giving up on it. I am not benefitting from these situations. I know I have been complaining a lot and I'll try to stop lol. I gave up on N. He has not tried to get ahold of me (I got ahold of him on christmas) since last Sunday. I dont understand the male brain and I dont think I ever will when it has to do with dating. I just dont want to wait around if its not worth it and him not making an effort into getting ahold of me kinda saddens me and just makes me realize I should move on. My biggest issue is I wonder if I honestly did anything wrong? See when the last one, before him, and I broke up--- I analyzed the crap out of it. I finally realized things and I was okay with everything. I still adore the guy actually, in a strictly platonic kind of way. I even emailed him the other day and wished him a congrats. I tried to fix it when I dated N though and I thought I did a good job. I dont know. Boys confuse me. Their actions dont make sense. They do.... but they dont. I even think dating/relationships and all that jazz is a bad idea for me right now because it never works out the way I want, no fault of theirs or mine. I just dont like getting my hopes up over something that is short lived. I dont know. I am tired.
I threw in the towel on another situation. If I wasnt so tired, i'd elaborate. I am just tired of the same crap every day. I told my mom I am moving to Hawaii and she could keep my cell phne. She just rolled her eyes. She doesnt want 80 million calls a day. But my eyes are burning and I am tired and been running all day today so I am going to bed. Sorry for the complaining. I am just SO stressed out right now and I want all the negativity in my life to go away. I have 3 goals in life: Happiness, Love, and Success. Lets hope I achieve all these.

Hope life your way is well. I'll write something happy soon.... I hope!