Cry me a river

I am so beyond stressed out I want to scream. I cant take it really. I have had a headache since 1:30ish this afternoon. Initially it was from a guy wearing too much cologne at work but then it shot into a stress headache. I have never had a stress headache. I have only got the stomach aches. This is all very new to me. I feel horrible too because all I do these days is complain. I bitch. I whine. People get sick of hearing it. But it feels like it never goes away. I havent been happy in 2 wks. Yes N has to do with that happiness but those problems never went away. They just went on the back burner. Now it all just keeps building up and my brain's moving. I also hate New Years time so I am going to be in a mood. Just between my grandpa, stupid friend drama, stupid boys, and unsatisfied with where I am at my life..... I am pretty dang depressed. I hide it well. Mostly because when I am around people or working, I am doing things where I am not thinking about it. See I am more of an extremist so to speak. If I am happy--- I am really happy. If I am sad--- I am down right depressed. I feel everything x10. Thats what you call an overemotional person. Its true. I put in 100% into all emotions. I wish I was a "tough" person. I wish I had a hard interior. I wish things didnt bother me. I wish I could be "little miss sunshine". I wish I could be a guy when it comes to emotion.

I also am becoming obsessed with my weight. I am noticing. I stare at my body. I obsess over my weight. New years resolution is to lose a lot of weight as healthy as possible. I am being as smart about it as humanly possible.

Uggh. I am so annoyed. I need some sleep. I need a vacation.

Good Note: I got an awesome christmas present from my bff: Awesome coconut milk bath set. So excited to use it!