Sometimes Life Throws Curves

I am slowly coming to peace with everything. I am letting life fix itself. Does any of it make sense? No. But why dwell on the stuff you cant change. Life is fixing itself and lemme tell you why....

*My grandpa still obviously has that rechid cancer but hes taking steroids!!! Yay!!!! I never thought I would be happy that someone is on steroids but the steroids do so much for the man!!! It'll keep him longer. He's not coughing up the crap. Will the steroids do damage? Yes. I suppose that it gives problems with the liver (true? I dont know) but he has liver cancer too so... it is what it is! It seems very selfish but it buys me more time. Thats what I want! He's 81. He's one of my best friends. Gimme time people! He has it in his mentality that he will beat this! Like I said, God bless his optimism. What a cute man!

*My little tift that I was having with my friend has FINALLY after 6 months of nonsense come to an end! THANK GOD. One less stress on my shoulders. We talked about it all about a week ago and discussed almost everything. I kept one detail out because I didnt want to cause any more trouble then what was worth and I can get over it. Do I fully trust her again? No. Will we ever be as close as we used to be? Tough to say but we're making efforts to befriend each other again. I told her how I felt about everything and that I finally gave up on the whole thing because it was more trouble then what it was worth in my opinion. I have never fully given up on a friendship until these little events and I even told her it just became too much for me to take. I was dealing with a terminally ill grandfather, a breakup at the time, work, and then that and I just couldnt handle it. I seriously felt insane for the past 2 months. I had distanced myself from so many important people and I was just super depressed again, obviously from all the depressing blogs. She understood and we discussed how she felt too and just come to a conclusion that we wanted to be friends and that we didnt want to fight anymore. So we'll see... hopefully all is well.

*My ex N and I are talking again, not romantically. Just friendly. We have talked pretty much once a week every week since we broke up. Am I over it? Not completely but who cares. For the most part I am though. I just figured out that I cannot read into any of his actions, move on, and if he has any interest, Ill let him do the initiative. I text him about once a week to see how things are with him and we'll chat briefly and then we'll be content. I figure if I can just look past any type of romantical feeling for him, take a breathe, then we can be friends. I think exes can be friends as long as theres an understanding and nothing is read into. I have been successful before. Ill keep any kind of jealousy locked up and just work on the friendship aspect of him. I still care about him and whats going on with him and want to keep in touch. I think its mutual. If its not, then he can ignore me lol.

Work! Oh my gosh! I work... A LOT. Not so much a lot of hours but 6 days a week and weird times of the day. I think I am getting sick too. Yes I am taking some meds on and off to help keep the brunt of it away. My outlook on life right now: Decent. I am hoping for the best and wishing and praying. I have prayed a lot lately. I have prayed for my grandpa and some of my family. I have prayed for some of my friends. I have prayed for myself. I am not even that religious but I do believe in God and I think there is a power in prayer. Its all I can do. We'll see!