Just another one

I have so much on my mind these days. I dont know which way is up and which way is down. School is pretty much kicking my butt but its my own fault. I have no one to blame but myself. I finally have convinced myself that my friends really do care about me. We'll see how long before I start thinking that they dont lol.
I feel so much better, well for the past 3 days, that I have confided in someone about something because to be honest, I felt weird about telling them. I didnt know what would be said. I completely trust them though. It is weird though because I have so many questions that I know this person may know. The thing is, I am not sure if I really want to know everything that I wanna ask. Does that make sense? I have my own thoughts and intuitions about it all but I dont know if I want the answers. Honestly, I dont know if I could stomach the answers. Literally. Stress creates stomach aches which creates a large amount of pain for me, physically and emotionally. The thoughts even make me squeemish. It just sucks and there is not a dang thing that I can do about it. I was amazed how intuitive this friend was and knew exactly how I felt just through little pieces of information. I wasnt surprised though. I figured so. The worst part is, those thoughts I have, havent changed a whole lot--- and its been a year. I feel pathetic and absolutely ridiculous. I think some of my friends think that I am too and I am okay with that.
My eyes are burning and I need to get ready to go out so ttyl!